This is Me...this is how I am....

2005-06-25T12:00:00.000+08:00

i guess ultimately we do not determine wat happens in the future. the faith n belief that we may have built for so long do not guarantee anytin. dreams about the future can always remain until hard cold reality slaps u hard across ur face.

u may be surprised, u tink u noe so much. but in fact, u may not even know wat u are feeling. that warm lingering feeling in you that will never fail to spur u to go through lengths may not even be there in the first place. so wat is there left to hang on to?

there has got to be a reason y He makes us go through what we do. for me, it is probably to make me realise that i am capable of loving so much, amidst of numerous setbacks and putting aside many other good things. i was not made to realise something that i coud have realised long time ago and do something about it.

and at this point in time, i am totally clueless of whats going to happen.

2005-05-23T12:18:00.000+08:00

At long last...

It has been like wat...more than 3 months since i last updated my blog. Hmm, i guess i am not a disciplined blogger..i get bored easily and i won't put in the effort if i know it's sumtin dat i can put off. What kinda an attitude is that..!!?? Coming from a teacher?? Well, i guess I'm juz slacking...whenever i can....

Life has been ... like dat lah. Morning go to school, petang balik. Teach teach teach...malay malay malay....scold scold scold.... mark mark mark. But i tink i am getting used to it all la. There are certainly many times when the work does get kinda fun and filled with laughter. It helps having colleagues who are 'sekaki' wif u sitting near ur table. So wen i am down wif tons of admin werk or simply marking (esp time mid yr exam) its nice being able to joke and crap around wif them.

Life has also been ... kinda frustrating and confusing at times. I'm at a point where I tend to question myself.. wat exactly do i want in life now? How exactly do i want my life to go.. I want dis...i want dat... And at times, i simply forget that...ultimately, it doesn't really lie in my hands.

But does dat mean I should lay back...let nature take its course? Cross the bridge once i've reached it? Face it when it comes? No... I believe in usaha & ikhtiar. Kalau hendak seribu daya, kalau tak hendak seribu dalih lah jawabnya. So it's the efforts that show how badly u want something. Not juz seeing how it goes...berserah pada takdir... cos true, semuanya kehendakNya. Kita hanya merancang, Tuhan menentukan. Wat a cliche...

So here i am... living life a day at a time. Patience wearing out...physically burnt out...desperately in need of a vacation, away from everything. The question still linger... What is it dat i really want?

Adalah sukar melihat yang indah di depan mata, sekiranya mata hati ini hanya ingin melihat keindahan yang masih samar-samar di sebalik awan mendung yang masih belum tentu bila mahu berlalu.

Adalah sukar melihat segenap pelusuk dunia, sekiranya mata hati ini hanya ingin melihat ruang sempit yang diri ini sendiri bertungkus-lumus cuba untuk hiasi, demi kerana rasa cinta yang mendalam.

Adalah sukar melihat cahaya di hadapan, sekiranya mata hati hanya ingin melihat kebahagian yang hanya diertikan bersama keyakinan yang entah sampai bila mampu menebal dan bertahan.

Ternyata... aku masih menantikan hujan untuk membasahi kekontangan ini....

2005-02-14T10:59:00.000+08:00

I noe i'm taking a super-long time to update...well, here goes...

Ok, my life has been fine but hectic, stressed, depressing at times but nevertheless, there are wonderful n happy moments...i'm juz looking forward to the breaks.. weekends...to juz unwind and lepak...cos weekdays will be so bz and all...

Well, realised dat i'm not really a 'photographer'. only once in a while wen i feel like it...so i have limited pictures here actually. Except for the sec 2 NYAA camp i went to..my co-form kindly volunteered to take all the pics...so i have quite alot of dat...:)

Other happenings in jan...

- went to Tiger Cup finals..it was fun, esp wen s'pore won....

- Aidiladha was normal...like any other gathering....

- Sec 2 NYAA camp, made me more gelap...so tiring i took days to overcome the exhaustion...but was good cos managed to bond wif my form class...

...the kidz...

- ooo, forgot abt siti's bday lunch at BaliThai...tu lagi terer..last minit present, sume last minit...

no...we didn't get her a handphone....

the food....wic looked good but ok jer la....

- the most recent one, era's engagement cum bday.....congrats congrats!!

the barang-barang hantaran from her....

and the blurred pic of us wif the 'pengantin'....

So dats basically it....hmm, mebe wen the mood really comes i will really update wif more stories yah....macam MALASSSS.....hehehehe..

So take care y'all....daaa.....

klik di sini for more piczz...

2005-01-23T23:27:00.000+08:00

Here I am again, updating dis blog of mine....

Hm...wat to update eh? School has been fine but REALLY tiring and tuff. Im trying hard to cope, but alhamdulillah gez i'm doin kinda fine. The past weeks have been ok lah, a few ups n downs but i'm moving on...

Celebrated a year of commitment, filled wif love and trust, happiness and sadness, tears and laughter....Never been easy but i noe it's NEVER meant to be easy.... it's a celebration of learning to love another, despite differences...learning to appreciate the other for all things done, big or small....learning to adapt, to understand, to tolerate, to accept.... i fell in love wif him about a year n a half ago n have been falling in love over n over again...

Ok, dun feel like updating....take care u peepz....

2005-01-06T18:32:00.000+08:00

Watching soccer in the rain...wif rowdy n out of control fans...vulgarities, verbally and in gestures...shouting n screaming as a form of support n to show...errmmm...anger? ....and rejoicing wen the Lions won, tho i truly belif it is totally out of luck..(wif an 8-man team to go against...kalau kalah aku sendiri bakar dorang satu team...) ...watching wif him n a couple of great frens...not reminding myself abt the first day of school, which is juz the day after...able to jump up n down the moment the ball went into the opponent's net (kherkher!!) ...

The very wet pitch....and the very wet audience too....but all geared up to support the Lions....

Heee...thanx to him, we got the free tix....if not, i definitely wouldnt be bothered to go...hehe!!

Me and effe....ada jugak dia, a gurl company.....

Dis was hilarious, peeping between the umbrellas....wat an experience....:D

We might be goin for the finals next sunday....provided S'pore at least draws wif Indonesia...kalau tak, lupakan sudah...hehehhehe...

Till next time....Byezzz...

(PS. It actually took me a few days to post dis. Jus too bz n too tired....nak upload pics je berzaman...hehee! )

2004-12-31T17:19:00.000+08:00

at the brink of 2004...about to spillover into 2005....

millions of things happened....learnt a million things more....well, isnt dat wat it's supposed to be, to learn from all dat has happened. OK, lets see the major major things dat happened....

1) Start of the year, i was put in a terrible dilemma...wic i managed to pull myself out from and never regretted anytin ever since...1 Jan 2004 is one very memorable day...

2) It was also the beginning of 'Us' ... the Real Us... no uncertainties, no question marks... a solid ground for our kind of love to grow n blossom... hee!!

3) First step into real teaching...first experience of the kinda stress, anxiety n more related to teaching...

4) The year marked the beginning of my teaching career....hence a big change on my financial agenda....syukur tak terhingga....

5) Left to be in charge of the house as my parents went for Haj. Hmmm, an experience dat made me learn sooo much...

6) The whole year was a learning experience for me n him...we learnt more abt each other n i can say..things get better by the day... i learnt the real meaning of being in love...

Hmm...truthfully, these are the only things dat i can tink of right now. I gez the year was more meaningful for him n me. Well, it doesnt stop here for sure...its juz the beginning...but im glad we are where we are now after a year being together...i'll juz pray that a bright future awaits us, making 2004 the stepping stone to greater heights....

Happy New Year 2005 to all. May the next year be more wonderful, fruitful and brings in more happiness than before...i love u all...

2004-12-30T01:03:00.000+08:00

You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
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HAHAHA....mysterious eh.....entah...!!! :D

2004-12-28T11:14:00.000+08:00

Terjadinya Seorang Aku...

Kadang-kadang kan...memang betul apa orang cakap, apa yang kita inginkan dan harapkan tak semestinya menjadi kenyataan. Yang peliknya, walaupun segala yang berlaku seakan-akan langsung tak menepati 'jalan cerita yang diimpikan', ia tetap mendatangkan kebahagian, kemanisan dan pada masa yang sama terus merubah jalan cerita yang telah diimpikan tadi tu, menjadi jalan cerita yang baru...semata-mata untuk disesuaikan dengan keadaan sekarang. Tapi itu adalah satu pengorbanan, yang mungkin tidak dapat dilihat dengan mata kasar... tak lah sehebat pengorbanan yang melibatkan nyawa atau wang ringgit... tapi tetap satu pengorbanan yang memerlukan hati dan jiwa yang cekal..bersungguh-sungguh....demi kerana apa? Demi kerana cinta beb......;D

Baru saja selesai menelaah buku-buku keramat kehidupan aku sejak...hmm....8 tahun yang lalu...wuii, lapan tahun eh...da macam orang kurang siuman, ketawa sendiri pagi2 buta. Amat ketara, perubahan agenda dalam hidup sehari-hari. Bermula dari zaman JC sampai sekarang..makin lama makin menarik. Boleh buat novel best seller tau. Mereke2 yang rapat tu tahulah cerita tu...tapi ada jugak cerita yang korang2 tak tahu...Semua hanya yang empunya diri jer yang tahu. Yang pasti, setiap detik...setiap saat dalam setiap kisah yang tercoret tu, ada pengajarannya, ada memorinya yang tersendiri. Kesemuanya ada satu persamaan. Setiap coretan itu melibatkan emosi yang hanya seorang H.a.r.tini (dieja begini atas sebab2 teknikal dan privacy..harap maklum...hehe) dapat rasakan. Buat aku terfikir kembali, pasal kan..sekarang ni kadang2 lupa tau apa yang telah aku lalui tahun-tahun yang sudah. Yang pasti, ia bukanlah satu laluan yang mudah...terlalu banyak duri, terlalu banyak ribut yang menyinggah...tapi ada jugak terselit keindahan, kemanisan...hahaha! Tapi bila difikirkan balik, aku lebih rela tak lalui keindahan/kemanisan macam tu, hanya untuk menerima keperitan di hujungnya.

Namun, satu pengajaran yang paling berharga....dapat mengenali begitu banyak insan mengajar aku kepelbagaian manusia. Aku jadi lebih bijak...memilih mana yang lebih serasi. Ye lah, si tini ni kan macam-macam..sensitif la, kena pandai berbual la, kena ada good sense of humour la... Masa tu, hidup seolah-olah berubah 360 darjah. Dari tini yang rendah keyakinan diri...tak mampu lihat di cermin dan beritahu diri sendiri..."its ok, everytin's fine.." kerana ternyata tak ada yang "fine". Jiwa terlalu sepi. Macam nak berontak. Macam nak jumpa satu-satu, cakap ngan dorang...."kau kata kau faham, tapi sebenarnya kau tak faham!" Tapi jangan salah faham, aku hargai...dan aku sayang dorang2 tu semua....:D Bila baca balik babak yang tu, eehh....untung orang tu, dicurahkan dengan segala kasih sayang yang aku ada....tapi, tak menjadi-jadi. Bila difikirkan, kelakar....kelakar sekali. Tapi tu lah cinta pertama aku.....muqaddimah bagi banyak lagi yang berbeza-beza intensiti...(hehehe, korang faham? kalau tak faham bukak kamus...heheheh!!) Tapi, mmg masa tu aku sedih sangat....macam2 soalan timbul. Rupa-rupanya, nak kena melangkah masuk ke dunia luar (haha, ironic...) baru dapat atasi tu semua. Bila da melihat betapa luasnya dunia luar tu...haii, barulah aku reti...cinta tu, kalau tak betul2 kena ngan orangnya, habis....hilang value tau....eee, jangan cakap CINTA la...meluat aku...perasaan sayang....ahh, much better....

Jadi...lepas tu, satu persatu. Jangan sangka entry kali ni seperti membuka pekung di dada pulak ( kalau tak tahu makna, carik pat dalam kamus peribahasa ehhh...jangan malas!!) Cuma, mungkin ia bukanlah satu yang patut dibanggakan, tapi memang pembuka mata, pembuka hati. Kalau tak kerana pengalaman sebegitu, tak mungkin aku jadi aku yang sekarang ni. Orang yang memandang memang gelisah. tak payah bilang...dah tahu dah....si tini ni, mana satu pun tak tahu. Bila baca balik babak yang ni pulak, lagi kelakar. Sekelip mata, lain orang....lepas tu dekni, lepas ni, dektu. Tapi jangan salah sangka eh....tak terok macam omputeh. Setakat kenal2, lepas tu rapat...terus tak jadi. Ada je halangan. Frustrating. Macam....cuaca. Kejap cuaca baik....memang la seronok. Tapi kan, sekejap jer...pas tu mendung...then terus ribut. Bila da ribut, datang lagi cuaca baik nie. Macam ni lah selama kira2...hmmm...2 tahun setengah. Lamanye!!! Cuma satu aje yang dikesalkan...sampailah sekarang, kalau difikirkan balik menyedihkan dan kalau boleh putar balik masa...aku betulkan part yang tu. Dalam masa belajar, memilih, melihat, menimba pengalaman, meneliti, merenung, menganalisa...macam2 lagi...ada beberapa insan yang terguris. Ada yang, "mmg padan muka kau lah berok"...tapi ada jugak yang...hmmm...tak dapat dielakkan, bukan kerana sengaja. Tapi dalam usaha untuk mengenali diri dan dunia, ada juga kesilapan yang turut membawa pengajaran. Hmm, ada dua yang sentiasa diingati...sorang, amatlah baik...terlalu baik, cuma perasaan tak boleh dipaksa kan..dan sorang lagi...hmm...boleh dikatakan, satu saja silapnya, masa. Maaf, maaf, maaf.

Tapi, sekarang memang aku percaya....itu semua ada sebabnya. Semata-mata untuk mengajar, mengumpul pengalaman. Macam orang naik basikal...kalau tak jatuh tak sah...dah pandai, sampai bila2 bole naik basikal. Cuma ada satu muka surat ni kan, adalah tertera senarai orang yang paling sesuai dengan aku. Pada masa tulah, aku percaya....apa yang kita seringkali inginkan dan impikan tak semestinya adalah yang terbaik buat kita. Hingga sesuatu yang diluar jangkaan berlaku, barulah kita sedar...."ooo, macam ni rupanya jalan ceritanya..."

Jadi, kalau nak lakarkan jalan cerita yang ideal...lupakan sudah lah...Tak wujud jalan cerita yang ideal tu. Sebabnya? Segalanya boleh berubah kerana cinta...(oklah, part nie pakai 'cinta' baru kena...hehe!) Bila rasa-rasa dah ketemu tu, barulah mula melakar. Tu pun jangan kelam-kabut. Beri masa, beri peluang untuk explore. Pengajaran yang PALING penting....Jangan terburu-buru. Mungkin kali ni, aku tak diberi peluang untuk terburu-buru. Forced to slow down. Menguji kesabaran. Menguji pendirian. Menguji kesungguhan. Ramai bertanya, mengapa? Kerana dah timba pengalaman, dah tahu mana yang baik dan tidak...Memang kalau dilihat tidak ideal, namun kalau ingin dibandingkan dengan apa yang diri sendiri telah lalui...inilah yang terhampir dengan ideal. Jadi senarai kriteria yang dituliskan dulu tu dah obsolete. Sejauh ni, hanya satu saja yang betul-betul membuktikan sama ada benar atau tidak cinta tu. Pengorbanan. Kerana, kalau diri sanggup berkorban...tak semestinya sehebat..(re: perenggan pertama) ..maknanya, itulah dia orangnya. Dah, jangan pikir bukan2...jangan asik nak andaikan jalan cerita yang lain lagi...tetapkan satu jalan cerita yang baru dan mulakan perjalanan tu dengan langkah yang yakin.

Kemudian, barulah bermula babak-babak yang baru.......

2004-12-23T18:34:00.000+08:00

The few days after I got back, like i've said....was full of activities....hehehe! Macam malas nak cerita panjang lebar, juz look at the pics la....

We went to Breekz for dinner...hmm, sumhow macam extra sedap gitu kan....

Went to my grandma's place the day after....wat can be more fun than a lepak2 session wif cousinz and lots of good food cooked my grandma dearest.....

We brought Syukri and his li'l cousin out cycling...dat was quite fun...we're thinking of making it a regular thingy...mebe once a fortnight....sape2 nak join? :D

Dats all deariez....till next time. I'm savouring my last holiday moments......

TO see the rest of the picz....click here....

2004-12-23T18:05:00.000+08:00

I noe....i noe.....a very late update. I duno why, i feel soooo malas to update. Mebe cos I've been kinda bz since i got back from KL. Busy buat apa eh....ntah, i pon tak tahu. Also, i was having flu and sleeping most of the time wen i'm at home...Hehehe...ok, so here goes...

The KL trip was super-fun tho a bit tiring. We really really shopped ok..at jalan masjid india, petaling st...the 3 days seem so short. It was quite exciting too cos for the first time, we reached KL not having booked into any hotels. So sampai jer, kita jalan lah dari puduraya tu, took the LRT to get to Quality Hotel. No available rooms and so we walk n walk to two more hotels. Luckily we got to Plaza Hotel and managed to get a room for 3. Amik jer lah...... Ann has some close relatives in KL so we were fortunate as they brought us to some places wif good food...like Sate Kajang...sedaapp nah...so lembut, so empuk....then the next day, we went to dis restaurant for steamboat...pon sedaappp...Niwae, one of our intenaries is to go to Berjaya Times Square and to the theme park there. We didnt expect the theme park to be soooo best!!! They have an indoor roller coaster, not the small budak2 type tau...but the tall high 360 degree turn type. The rides are all so thrilling and makes-u-want-to vomit type...and wat do u noe, one of us actually did! Haizz, dats really the highlight of the trip....in the end we took only 3 rides....cos kesian dia, takkan nak tinggalkan sorang2 kan...hehee...All in all, we had fun, the food...the company...even the weather was good...we might juz make our KL trip an annual event or mebe every holiday...:D

KLCC at night.... and the delicious Sate Kajang!!

Smile.....We're in KL......hehe!

For full album, click here

2004-12-13T20:27:00.000+08:00

.......The Ultimate Spa Retreat......

I'm not goin to say much....but the spa experience at Wayan Retreat was a hundred times better than the one ant BE...khekhe! I tell u girls, the service there is superb....the urut is wonderful (tho i tink it is painful cos i did the balinese urut, meant to be painful)...i wud recommend u gerls to try...really...aniwae, the instalments can be paid 8x so not to heavy...

Trust me gurls, i tink its worth a try...but if u take the promo package dat i took, got the balinese urut...sakit tau!! hehehehehehe.....

2004-12-13T11:17:00.000+08:00

Time to update......

OK, so far my holiday quite well-spent lah...went out n spent time wif wonderful cousins...spent my weekend nites wif beloved frens...it was fun lah, tho quite tiring...

well, lets start...thurday me, diah n tuty went out...lepakking n EATING!! eh, i really need to lose some weight sey...i mean, asik makaannnn jer...am i getting fatter?? ok, u guys tell me....am i??? *sigh* thot of really starting today...then tmr im goin KL. How to jaga makan in KL...u tell me??? once sch reopens, i will be too bz to even plan my meals...ok, aniwae back to my cousins outing...it was one wif SAUCY (as how my cuzzie puts it) stories. Well, every family, esp a BIG one like mine has it's own stories n events (hehe!) n mine is not an exception. Pucuk pangkalnya, the moral of the story is not to base anytin on assumptions. CLEAR THE AIR QUICKLY! So...the truth can be out in the open...avoid any hard feelings...embrace one another wif love and care...kherkherkher!! wateva it is, me n my cuzzies are always wif our "orait, open talk eh..." and it werks big time! i mean...juz talk abt anytin...and then laugh and continue eating...n everytin will be fine.....(i tink im startin to talk nonsense) SO the day didnt end juz there. Tuty went off earlier to catch Incredibles wif her li'l bros so me n diah juz hung out at tampines. Da lama eh kita tak buat keje gitu. Few years ago, dat was such a fav pastime sampaikan orang2 tamp da kenal agaknye muka kita. Dat was zaman tangkap jamz....now masing2 da tak kuasa dan takde masa...but it was good sharing n talking...I ended up sleepin over at her place..the 2 of us, plus her 2 li'l sistaz, stayed up till abt 2am to play monopoly...it was fun jugak lah, ngan bebudak tu nye merepekz...love ya galz!!

OK, that was time wif cousins....sat n sun nite, was another MAKAN session wif frenz. Macam cant get enuff of one another gitu, consecutive nites makan besar.. Sat nite, we had out annual Turkey Dinner, ala Thanksgiving la only dat of cos its not to celebrate dat cuma sajer2 je makan2...the only thing is dat, theres no turkey. We had 3 fried spring chickens as substitutes. But we did have my spaghetti...gez i'll be expected to prepare dat every dec...kan kan kan?? Well, we didnt juz eat...we had UNO stacko game wic was quite fun...but lasted for less than an hr...we attempted to play a Maths game, suggested by our maths teacher...but stopped wen sum1 confidently clapped her hand at "17" in a Multiple-of-3/No-wif-3 Clapping Game (wateva u call it...) come to tink of it...tak sampai 20 pon kita main dat game..??? budak pre-school lagi bagus sey agaknye... Last2, adalah satu budak nie bawak PS2, so apa lagi...the guys had their share of a funtime....
The next nite, we had makan-besar session again...dis time at Singgah Selalu JB. Wahh, wif the ketam and all.....the company and the shared laughter made it all a wonderful wonderful experience...

Actually, dat wasnt it. Went to JB earlier before the Singgah Selalu dinner to my cousin's place in Taman Perling. Lupa nak amik2 gambar...but it was nice too lah, the food and the house...hehe!

So darlingz, my updates for the last few days. There will sure be more to come. Will be away to KL tmr (14th-16th) wif ann n liza...Makan lagi..*sighhhh* will be back wif more stories n picz to update yah! As for today, i have a date wif my mom for a Spa Retreat. So exciting...will update on dat too, hopefully tonite if im in the mood..hehehee!

Juz wana say, thanx galz (luvly buddies and cuzzies) ....for the wonderful time dat we had. I noe we have been having dis kinda fun since like years n years before but i gez the times we spent have always been so memorable n fun dat i noe i will never get enuff of it. Thank u for being part of my life and never failing to make me happy wenever we are together. I see us growing old together, sharing our joys and even sadness...and i do hope dat i will be able to see more of us in future...sampailah ke tuaaaa....:D

OK then, till next entry.....Sayang korang sume!!! MMuuaaccckkzzz!!!

Klik di sini untuk melihat keseluruhan album....*winkz*

2004-12-11T16:24:00.000+08:00

You Are A Professional Girlfriend!

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise!

Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro.

If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you.

You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

What Kind Of Girlfriend Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Well, wat can i say...i'm a Pro!!! hehehehe......*winkz*

2004-12-07T14:07:00.000+08:00

Truly a Holiday...

Well, I'm back from the 1st part of my holidayz. The Malacca trip was a whole load of fun, especially wif the fun bunch of gurls all out to enjoy themselves. Tho we did have a few 'uncomfortable' encounters, the rest of the time was kinda OK actually. Especially the swimminnggg....hehehe...the stoopid but gerek relays, the synchronise swimming tak jadi, the bersemangat relay swimmer yg slalu go wrong direction (hahahaha....i admit, dat was really funny...i had NO idea ok!!) the food was good too...but i tell u, wen i got back i had a problem of removing wat i ate such dat it made my trip to Batu Pahat the next day a bit unpleasant.

For full album, click here.....

The Batu Pahat/Malacca trip was ok too. My cuzin got engaged and it was kinda nice. It was me and the rest of my cousins yang sibok2 amik gambar. I was thinking, orang M'sia tak suka amik gambar ke. There were no other photographers. Hmm, they must have thought dat we S'poreans takde keje lain suka amik gambar.

Went to Malacca on Sunday for a wedding and to visit my cousin Nad's fiance's grandma's place (phew, dats a mouthful...) It was tiring cos we got lost many times...hahaha...nasib baik bukan aku yg drive....:D Got back late Sunday nite...

For more picz of e BatuPahat/Melaka trip, click here....

Now, im at home and for the rest of the week, will be quite free. Cuma masalahnya, masalahnya...masalahnya...masalah kewangan...HEHEHE! Im soooo looking forward to my first major bonus. Macam2 aku dengar, 1.75 lah, 2.25 lah...takpe lah, janji dapat. Barulah enjoy....Will be goin KL next week wif pgde palz, barulah betul2 nye shopping...tak sabar tak sabar....

ok till then gurlzz...take care yah!!

2004-11-30T18:50:00.000+08:00

MerDeKA!!!

Well, the moment i've been waiting for is here. The end of my 40 lesson plans ordeal..!! Hmm, sebenarnya dengan ikhsan daripada rakan-rakan kerjaku yang tersayang, i managed to minus 15 lesson plans becos of the overlapping of 1E n 1NA lessons. Phewww...tapi 25 tu pon merengkek nak abiskan...So dis morning, me n my senasib colleagues handed in the files to our 'head' after which we sighed a BIG sigh of relief. Now i'm able to concentrate on my HOLIDAYYYY....:D

Well, oleh kerana dah lama tak update...expect a long entry plus pictures yah...! Hehehe... Ok, amidst the very heavy workload and the stressful mind i was having, i managed to enjoy my raya to a certain extent. FIrst, dis year sumhow we received more 'dayoh' than usual (dayoh = tetamu in Jawa language..*grinz*) mostly Syukri frenz and my students. Its a new experience havin students datang beraya. I tell u, ada budak2 aku tak kenal pon datang. Theres dis group, out of 8, sorang je a student of mine. Menyekik darah aku jer bebudak nie....nak buat apa, layankan je la, kasi kuih, kasi coke, yg paling perit nak kena kasi duit collection gak...Syukri nye frenz pon sama gak...kawan punya sepupu punya jiran pon ikot....dia datang bawak adik beradik kecik2...takkan nak halau pulak kan...tapi kalau kecik2 tu ok jugak lah, pasal cute...kalau macam anak murid aku, nak mintak kena tampar je...hahahahha!!

Some of my students ans syukri's frenz who came....

OK, wat else is there to update eh....

Had a Raya outing wif my PGDE mates. It was fun, catching up wif stuffs...ada yang da tunang, ada yang nak tunang, ada yang da single...hehehe...seronok tul, sewa van...

Klik sini kalau nak tengok all the picz...

After all the raya...and in a middle of my ULTIMATE STRESS moment...i managed to have a short getaway to jb wif him dear...it was nice la, like a moment to destress a while before continuing wif the lesson plans. Went for a meal, Secret Recipe cakes (a MUST wen we're in jb) and a movie...I Know What U Did Last Raya....Lepakzz!! it was ok lah, quite funny....

One is a cheese and choc cake wic was mild but really nice...and the other is a choc fudge cake... yummyzzz....n wats wif the 'slim up girl talk' after dat.....

ok then kekawan, ini dia update yang panjang lebar...im gona totally learn to enjoy my hols, wif the bonus coming in soon (tho the week be4 bonus will sure be a kering sekering-keringnya week) . Goin malacca later (its 1.30 am) n supposed to be at goldenmile at 7.30...bole bangun ke nie???

OK frenz, see y'all....daaaa....

2004-11-25T14:17:00.000+08:00

Hiya Galz....

Need to spend the next few days to complete my Lesson Plans. Macam %*&%#@* sey benda2 nie....so i guess i will update wif pictures, esp the jalan2 raya picz after im about done wif them....

See y'all soooonnnn.....

2004-11-20T11:40:00.000+08:00

I love my New Look!!!

Heheheheheheheheh...........

2004-11-19T11:19:00.000+08:00

More Kidz Galore!!

Had a short jalan raya session wif my MT dept. It was fun really...wif children running around screaming, ada yang holding hands, ada yang berjoget, ada yang nak jadi monster, ada yang sibok nak amik gambar...the parents were bz having parents to parents talk, so since aku rasa macam tak sesuai gitu nak dok dengar dorang bebual...aku melayanlah budak2 tu...

(ps. look at the first pic, do u tink it's a pic of 2 gurls, or a gurl and a boy? one of them is a boy tau!! )

Sampaikan mak bapak budak tu kata, Tini amik gambar dorang jer, gambar kita taknak amik...khekhekeh!! im collecting pics of small kids...cos i cant get enuff of them!! MMuuaaahhaahhaaa...!!! Aniwae, since im seeing soooo many kidz, u can understand la the effect on my financial status...ngan students yang datang....so bulan nie, rasa-rasanya kenalah BAJET...hari2 tapau kuih raya....khekhe!!

Okies gurly gurlz...cant wait to jalan raya wif korang2...see y'all!!

(Suddenly i got reminded of werk....uugghh!! peduli lahhh........)

More pics of MT dept jalan raya....

2004-11-18T11:59:00.000+08:00

Kidz Galore..!!!

Dis raya I really enjoyed myself playing wif li't sweet cute adorable babies n small kidz dat I see their so comel faces even before I go to sleep. Sooo geraaammm....juz look at them!!

2004-11-17T10:31:00.000+08:00

2004-11-17T10:19:00.000+08:00

UGGHHH..!!!!

I still have so many things to do. Banyak sey keje.....bila nak buat nie??? So so so so so not in the mood to do werk..mana nak raya, mana ramai tamu yg datang, mana nak jalan raya....

i am sooo slacking sey....macam mana nie??? how how how......

URRGGHHHHHHH!!!!

2004-11-16T10:20:00.000+08:00

Aidilfitri tahun ni disambut dalam kesederhanaan sahaja. However, once the one BIG family met at my uncle's place where my grandma reside, the kecohness is juz undescribable. The food, the pic-taking, the laughter, the colours, the kidz....a perfect description of how raya should be like.

I'm a bit lost for words now...macam tak tahu apa nak cerita...so juz view the pics lah....

See ya pplez.....

2004-11-13T23:17:00.000+08:00

Masa: Malam Hari Raya 2004, jam 11.25 malam

Dis year's Raya preparation quite express. By around 6, everytin is kinda settled. Which is quite good actually, so malam2 gini tak lah rushing2...penat tau...Rabu, i was done wif cleaning up of my room, Deepavali day was the rest of the house spring cleaning day...Friday, me n mum went out to get some last minit stuffs, wic include a yellow kebaya i soooo lurve and the 6 lontongs i ordered from pakcik cleaner pat skola.

We finished cooking by 4...wic was VERY seldom. Kalau tak, malam masih ada at least satu lauk lum habis masak...So, boleh dikatakan dis year's malam raya not as memenatkan as past years... Petang tadi, kuih2 pon da sedia atas meja, sumtin i would usually do only on pagi raya...

So, we managed to buka wif all our juadah hari raya...plus the ones from my nenek's place since my parents went there earlier to send food n got some back in return...and of cos, i gotta get readi the 'sampul2' collection kan...

To my beloved darling frens, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir dan Batin. Maaf dipinta atas segala kesilapan, kata-kata yang mengguris hati atau tingkah laku yang menyinggung. Semoga Lebaran kali ini membawa sejuta kemanisan....Take care y'all, enjoy ur Raya....:)

2004-11-11T11:58:00.000+08:00

Kesabaran membawa kita ke sana
Keikhlasan menentukan kejayaan kita
Kejujuran menjadi tunggak hubungan kita
Kerinduan menguatkan rasa kasih kita
Kebahagiaan arah tujuan kita
Agama landasan sebenar kita
Saling menerima saling mengerti
Walau masa hambatan terhebat kita
Walau cara dan pemikiran berbeza
Akan wujud suatu jalan
menemukan haluan yang sama
di situ kita mengatur langkah
mengorak membentuk kisah masa depan
berbekalkan tulus kasih di dada
dan percaya akan adanya esok bagi kita...

Sayang terlalu mudah untuk diperkata
Namun keyakinan ini mengisahkan semua.

2004-11-10T17:48:00.000+08:00

Okie, i've just cleaned up my room. Cleared my table....cleaned the dust....change the bedsheet...shifted my wardrobe so as to make space for my 'gantungan'....

Ok lah, at least the room looks more presentable....i need bigger space n more storage!!

At least it lifted up my mood a bit.....

Tired......an hour to buka time.......(khekhe!!)

2004-11-10T11:59:00.000+08:00

Not in the mood to blog
Not in the mood for raya
Not in the mood to do the endless work

Juz not in the mood for anything...

Juz wait till i get my mood back....

2004-11-04T23:29:00.000+08:00

One of my dear frenz juz gave birth to a cute li'l boy...so myself, another mummy fren, whose 10 mth old daughter is another cutie pie, and effe went to visit her tadi....

Sigh...i really missed playing wif small kids dat age...geraaammm nyeeee....i'd love to have one to call my own....sigh.....juz look at those eyes....

It was nice, talking...laughing...catching up wif stuffs...bila lagi nak jumpa dorang n bual2...now dat they are so bz and all.....

click here for more picz

2004-11-04T10:45:00.000+08:00

Buka session at Ann's place....

Yesterday, i had a wonderful wonderful meal for buka. It was Ann's birthday, which myself n liza thought was today....sigh....so we went over her place to eat the ever-craved-for NASI PILAU!! no...bukau pulau, bukan kilaum, bukan M Daud Kilau....nasi pilau.... it's an Indian recipe i tink, since Ann's family's Indian. myself n liza have been craving for it since the last bulan puasa. wat happened dat time was we were at Ann's place and her mom happened to cook nasi pilau. the fragrant n aroma of the rice was sooooo menusuk hidung dan kalbu. we didnt intend to buka there dat day n i had to rush home...so terkilan...the mom remembered i guess, so she decided to cook nasi pilau on ann's bday so she can invite us over...hehehehehe... we sat there sampai berkumandangnya azan isya' (except dat liza went for a 10 min break to solat...) hehehe....

We got Ann a nice cute bag....u noe the kinda bags u see in cerita2 saloma...the trend is out again...but it's really nice....if only i have the extra cash to get one for myself...apa kan daya, bulan nie kocek terbakar... niwae, we got her a cake too...wic ended off the meal nicely...

It was nice, meeting up n catching up on stuff. They are 2 people who i got real close to in such a short period of time. We were lepakking n recalling all the funny and at times stupid things dat we did in NIE. Hahaha, truthfully, without them life in NIE wouldnt be the same. Sampai pple call us the girl version of Bujang Lapok..haha...and we actually fit the description. sooo farnee....

Check out the spread.....*yumz*

the 3 of us wif the cake....

OK peepz....till next entry....luv ya!!

Go here for more picz!

2004-11-03T13:04:00.000+08:00

juz like the past years, the 3rd week of puasa will be the start of our kuih-making sessions. sumhow, dis year we dun intend to do much, juz the normal ones like kuih tart, kuih makmur and of cos, my choc chip cookies...a must!! :D

so since yesterday was the start of my confirm-tak-pegi-terawih-nite (hehehe...skarang sume org tahu...) i decided to start on my cookies......

Pertama sekali, haruslah disediakan bahan-bahannya....biar cukup jangan tak cukup.....

kemudian, mentega, gula perang dan gula kaster dicampur dan digaul hingga lebut dan sebati...

Selepas dibubuh sedikit esen vanila dan digaul rata, dicampurkan pula tepung dan kepingan cokelat. gaulkan dan uli dengan menggunakan jari hingga menjadi doh yang lembut.

Ambil secubit demi secubit dan susunkan di dulang pembakar. pastikan tidak terlalu besar kerana biskut akan mengembang....(Khekhekhe!!)

Selepas dibakar selama kira-kira 15 minit, dengan suhu 180 degree C, beginilah jadinya...nampak tak begitu menarik, tapi rasanya....sedaaappp.....

Tak percaya....cubalah!!!

2004-11-01T01:21:00.000+08:00

Hehe....banyak sangat updates la....so here goes another.....*winkz*

Me n him buka out today....dat was my first buka out for dis yr's Ramadhan...poor him gota rush home frm work, juz in time for him to siap2 all before i pick him up at his place...(the ever so nice n understanding gurlfren me....khekhe!)

We drove to masjid kassim, buka a bit in the car wif HL milk, kurma n a few biscuits...(hmmm, are these details neccessary??) maghrib at the mosque before heading to Makz place for a proper buka session.

Mee punggol for me, chix chop wif mushroom sauce for him and sumtin extra from home...(if u can gez frm the pic, yes....my spaghetti....actually my mom's la, she cooked it) A fulfilling n satisfying buka meal........:D

Then, off we went to....Harbourfront Shopping Mall to get the Oreo Cheesecake he has been craving for. Its surprisingly cheaper at $3.80 per slice, n its as big as the one at McCafe. The crazy boy intends to buy the whole cake....gasaklah nak....Wanted to take the pic of the cake before we eat it on our way back in the car....skali the drink we bought tumpah....so, dis one's the one i brought home for syukri...

It's nice...but sumhow i tink the one at McCafe's nicer.....

OKlah, till next time time....adioz chachoz nachos.....

2004-10-31T10:17:00.000+08:00

yesterday, was quite a hectic day.....

me n my luvable cutie pie mak (heehee!) went to SIR building (or do u call it ICA building) to get our passports. ok, ceritanya begini....we sent our pics via post oredi BUT kena reject (sedih sey...) for my mom, her tudung's colour is too bright n for me plak..biasa lah, muz see the whole face, cannot have part of my pipi hidden or my eyes hidden...(so siti, kalau nak tukar passport tu...selamat lah kau..KHAKHA! )

so me n my mom took instant passport pics rite before we went....

Okie, notice the difference in my usual way of wearing the tudung. I was satisfied wif the way i looked and thot dat it wasnt dat bad after all. But.....after taking our Q no, waited a while to see the officer, i was told "Sori eh dik, gambar ni tak bole...nak kena nampak pipi..." KENA NAMPAK PIPI!!!??? my pipi is the same like other pples' pipi per......

So i was told to go to a nearby room where they had a few booths for picture taking. I was reminded to pull back my tudung..kata kakak tu," Tgk macam mak adik punya tudung...macam gitu bole..." So i had to....juz look at the difference...dun u get reminded of my 16 yr old image...HAHAHA!

OK....STOP LAFFING!!! so dats my new look for my new passport....BINGITZ!!

Aniwae, tink i mentioned about having a new set of sofa for the Encik Hassan living room. Well, for very obvious reasons, we gota give away the old set. So my abang and a fren came over in the afternoon and took them away....

My abg n fren, wrapping up the glass on the coffee table....

The lorry dat took our sofa set away....

And off they went..........

Now....for the new set....nantikan gambar2 seterusnya....hehehe!!
Ciao pplez...

(me & my usual look.....i'm happy wif the way i look now, thank u.....)

2004-10-28T21:14:00.000+08:00

I have in my hands right now....my new Nikon Coolpix 3200 digital camera...hehehehe!! Well, like all new cameras, i need to charge the batts for more than 8 hrs...so mebe tomoro i shall start my pic-taking spree.....wheee~~~~

okie, till tomoro peepz.....

2004-10-24T21:26:00.000+08:00

one more week to school holidays...!!! at least tak payah tgk bebudak tu....hehe....

niwae, i gota wait for my camera. wait wait wait......

went to geylang tadi. hmm, nuthin special. macam gitu jugak. the guys in my family wearing YELLOW dis yr. hahaha...hmm, gez i will be wearing a light yellow kebaya too. my mom bought 2 jubahs at BEWA. haizz, macam malas gitu nak raya eh....hahaha!!

if u can tell, im so not in the mood to update...so till next time lah...

Ciaoz.

2004-10-23T11:19:00.000+08:00

Hie Hie Hie.....heehee...(dun u tink i sound like a RIA deejay??)

Today is the day i am gettin my digicam. After so long waiting, today is the day. HEHE! lets juz hope it wont be a disappointment like my hp...i shall update again, mebe tonite, mebe tomoro...

Aniwae, after quite some time....yesterday era eventually joined our lepakking session at McCafe. tho semlm was quite a short session, but i tink i kinda enjoyed it..khekhe! it was cozy, raining outside...drinking mochaccino, eating rotiboy sejuk( BETTER if its hot...) n talking abt school (now era can comfortably join the conversation...*smilez*), our holiday destination (so far belum betol2 confm, mebe cherating cos ada yg nak swimming2)...hmmm, so far these are the 2 main topics...we shall have such a session again soon....

ok then, till next entry....daaa~~~~

2004-10-20T15:17:00.000+08:00

Juz as i was about to relax a bit...since the term is about to end...i kena longgok dengan 1001 macam kerja2 yang can get abit redundant....

1) now dat we have finished marking, we are supposed to get down to lesson planning for next year. my school is embarking into a new system for the sec 1s, so since i am teaching the sec 1s next year (alongside another colleague) we gota come up wif FULL LESSON PLANS, together wif MATERIALS, WORKSHEETS and wat nots for the whole term....to be submitted to the VP by 17 nov...the rest of the teachers pon kena plan jugak, tapi the other levels less detailed and they have resources oredi, tinggal susun jer......

2) each department is given 2 classrooms and 1 IT lab...so we have to decorate n design our own rooms...so, sape agaknye yang kena buat tu sume??? well, i foresee my holiday gona be a real short one....there are tons of things to do...classrm arrangements, decorations, painting, bla bla bla...we gona get students to help, but we still gota be there rite....

3) ever heard of SEM? well, tadi was the FIRST time the criterion owners or simply the pple i/c met us, the newbies are myself n another colleague. truthfully, we noe nuts abt dis thing...then explain sikit2...terus tell us abt the things dat require us to scout for evidence. i dun mind all dat...if they were to tell us earlier, so at least i have time to at least understand wats really needede to be done. guess wen kita kena submit the evidences? FRIDAY laaa.....punya bingit...nasib baik puasa....tapi mmg aku ni penyabar orangnye....so die2 i juz do wat i can lah, fri kasi kan...cukup tak cukup i dun care, since u give me last minit like dis, dah lah aku nie baru, satu benda tak tahu. we're not even sure where to start to get the evidence sey........

OK,....so tak lah sampai 1001.....tapi, kita kan holiday..nak raya lagi....jangan harap lah raya ni nak hooray2....**sigh**

Oklah, cukup sampai di sini saja komplen2 saya pada hari ini....till next time...adioz!

2004-10-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

I feel sad.

The song dat plays wenever i go to siti's blog...is such an all-time fav. SUmhow, listening to it, makes me recall all dat happened...everytin that has brought me to where i am rite now. From late sec...JC life...my so colourful NUS life (cuma the life didnt really revolve much around NUS itself)..NIE..and now, teaching and working...earning my own income right now...financially independent...24, turning 25...

So, why am i sad in the first place? entah eh...im not so sure myself. Mebe as i recall all the happenings, i begin to realise how much every single happenings, even hw trivial it may get...comes wif a reason. How hurtful things can get...how depressing...it is all a learning journey for me to learn from.. the heartaches i've felt, the hurt i've caused..at times wen i luk back, i've gone thru quite a lot juz to reach where i am right now.

But then again, the worst ive been thru may not even be bad for others. I gota be thankful...at least i am blessed wif loved ones around me, a sound and stable job, enough to eat, enough to wear, a roof above my head...the list goes on...

Again...why am i sad in the first place? i have made mistakes...major ones...worst thing is, some of it involves hurting others. Kepada insan-insan yang pernah dilukai, disakiti akibat perilaku, kata-kata atau perbuatan hamba yang hina ini, jutaan maaf dipinta. I am terribly sorry dat in the midst of building a life, finding a direction, discovering myself...i end up hurting...

so...anyone care to tell me why i'm sad in the first place?

2004-10-17T22:57:00.000+08:00

How about dis one....? Hmmm....

2004-10-17T22:17:00.000+08:00

Dis is my target....lambatlah nak tunggu dia...tak sabar....

2004-10-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

Selamat menyambut bulan penuh kemuliaan dan barakah, bulan Ramadhan...semoga segala amal dan ibadah yang kita kerjakan akan diterimaNya dan terus kita istiqamah di dalam landasan Islam yang sebenar.

Bulan penuh kemuliaan ini adalah masa bagi kita untuk renung kembali dan muhasabah diri kita sendiri....mensyukuri segala nikmat dan kemanisan yang kita rasai sepanjang hayat kita di bumi Allah yang sememangnya setakat pinjaman semata-mata....memohon keampunan dan penerimaan taubat kita yang sesungguhnya sentiasa leka dengan hal-hal keduniaan....

Ya Robb, kami memohon kepadaMu...tetapkanlah iman kami, terimalah solat dan amalan kami, ampunilah dosa-dosa kami yang terlalu banyak ini....

Ya Rahman, sempurnakanlah puasa kami, pandanglah kami dengan pandangan rahmatMu, kasihanilah kami yang sentiasa kalah dengan hawa nafsu, tetapkanlah kami di jalan yang Kau redhai dan matikanlah kami di dalam keimanan di akhir kalimah Laa Ilaha Illallah Muhammadur Rasullullah...

Ameen....

Take care dearies.....semoga ibadah puasa kali ini dapat dijalankan dengan sempurna...InsyaAllah...:)

2004-10-13T15:42:00.000+08:00

so wat do u tink of yet another new outlook...lurrvvee it dis time....lurrvvee the 'blog-skin modifier' even more....heehee! okielah, not sweet, not like the first one...but i still like lah...:p

aniwae, juz to share my thots..... today i was in high spirits in the morning. Had a short discussion regarding the work review (my ceecher frenz shd noe...) I've had good comments n feedback from my HOD (Alhamdulillah, segala puji bagiNya) n u noe how it feels like wen u gota do a lot of werk and get appreciated or u noe dat it is gona help bring u sumwer... sumhow, becos i am doing quite a number of extra2 things, it helps me to be a li'l bit ahead than the other new teachers. She said she could see the difference in me since time practicum dulu ngan skarang as a full-fledged teacher. I was soooo glad, dat coming from my HOD. According to her, she sees the confidence in me and she actually mentioned during the ranking session dat she trusts me to be able to 'move forward' and carry more responsibilities. She said dat i've done a good job so far and that I shd be more exposed so dat my talents n capabilities can be recognised....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!!

after i typed all of dat out, suddenly it seems a bit overwhelming and pressurising....... hmmm.....truthfully, after hearing all dat, i feel so motivated to contribute as much as i can...but i juz hope i will be able to hold back a bit so as to avoid myself frm any burnouts n disappointments and most importantly, so dat the main intention n motivation of doing so is not becos of the recognition... i am thankful, sekurang2nya i was given the opportunity thru the dept's programmes... so boleh dikatakan, i had a good start to my teaching career... Alhamdulillah....

however, a few colleagues n myself had lunch outside tadi. the feeling of resentment, disappointment, anger, sadness....sampai mengalir air mata....haizz, it is hard wen 'orang-orang atas' failed to set the right culture among the staff and end up having a pool of teachers always there as 'orang-orang bawah', never recognised, never appreciated, kadang2 tak dipandang langsung pon...(literally ok!!)

so, there are 2 conflicting sides within myself. strive to be there, or stay to be here...with the rest...

Basically, i juz wanna do my best...fulfill my responsibilities....contribute....keep on learning....and prove to MYSELF, n not anybody else dat i CAN.... it wont be for others but myself and the Al-Mighty....

Pray dat i'll be strong.......

2004-10-11T23:47:00.000+08:00

Dis is wat u get wen U're stuck In a Jam for over an Hour

2004-10-11T22:28:00.000+08:00

wat a weekend...

Well, first of all I didn't do much on both days ( in terms of werk la) Went for kenduri at my cuzin's new place at Punggol on Saturday. Dat was fun, all get togethers are fun. Heh! Biasalah, me n the rest of the gurls..lepaking...haizz, if only...if only i have a digicam to capture all those moments...damn!

Well, Sunday was a photo taking day...(haha!) cos he decided to bring his cam along wif us to JB. I was sooooo thankful he brought it along cos we spent most of our time in the car, stuck in the jam...pergi AND balik! pergi especially cos we were stuck for more than an hr....balik however wasnt dat bad cos we were taken into a sinful yet heavenly indulgence...*winkz* We bought 2 slices of cakes...oreo cheeze n classic cheeze from secret recipe...yumz!! the best way to deal wif the boredom of getting stuck in a traffic jam...plus all the picture taking...we gona go secret recipe each time we go jb n im gona try every single type of cake they have there....heehee!! murah you...RM$4.90 a piece...dats abt S$2.40.....murah kan!!!

So dats my weekend...plus an additional day...hehe! so tomoro i'm back to school, doin my invigilation...the most boringest thing to do in a classroom full of kids...so, till next time pplz...

Kalau kuasa nak tengok the pics we took in the car....tengoklah!

2004-10-09T13:17:00.000+08:00

Exam week is almost the same as a short break for teachers. Putting aside the tons of exam papers to mark la. At least tak payah plan lessons....kan kan kan....

ok, updates....
hmm....nuthing much la...really....

OOOO.....i went to the robinson's sale semlm at expo. I tell u, i can go CRAZY!! sumhow there are much much more good stuff, esp wen it comes to shoes n bags. Spent abt a hundred bucks, nasib baik da nak gaji...khekhe!! lemme see, wat did i buy.....
- a sling bag, one dat i always use time pat NUS dulu...the long strap, leathery.....:D
- a pair of white shoes...hehe...my mom kata, my shoes berkotak2....yelah, a pair will come wif a box wat...mestilah berkotak...;)
- a pair of pin-striped 'keje2' pants...i likeee.....
- a purple colour blouse...a bit keje2 oso....
- a pair of ear-studs....its the silver Paris Bijoux brand u always see at Isetan. $10 onleee.... the earstuds nye shape kan like the letter 'H'....

Phew....tapi tak lah banyak sangat eh..khehee..tak termasok wat my parents n Syukri get for themselves....ada bags, shoes, shirts, pants, brooches.....hehee...hmm, macam nak pegi lagi la......

OK, selain dari kegiatan membeli-belah tu (sooo cikgu2...) my markings juz came in yesterday. TO tink of it, since there are not as many Malay students, i dun tink mine is as bad as the other teachers. Aniwae, new teachers are given less papers to mark. So, ok lah jugak...im not stressed.

Hmm, apa lagi.....

Ooo...the new blogskin....well, u shd be expecting changes every couple of months...yang ni testing2 jer...hehe...watever it is, i will sure lurve every single one of it....*winks*

I've been thinking again.....Bila aku nak beli digicam ni!!!???? sigh........i hope i can get it be4 raya....i hope.....

OKlah, till next entry....adios pplez!

2004-10-05T11:11:00.000+08:00

It is sad how some pple form first impressions and stick to it no matter wat. Dun we all deserve to be seen not only by dat few instances...?? Dun we all deserve to be treated wif respect, regardlessof age, race, pangkat,etc....
I feel sad wen students began hating their teachers....n i cant blame them for feeling dat way. Cmon, we all have been young before, they too have feelings. They may not noe how to channel the right feelings to the right places, but as teachers arent we supposed to guide, help and advise..not to create more anger, pin them down further, scold n humiliate....kalau aku pon aku marah!!! who to blame, who to correct the situation?
wat abt parents.....*sigh*

2004-10-03T20:52:00.000+08:00

Api ini menyala
untuk menerangi
untuk berbakti memberi cahaya
tak mahu padam
tak akan padam
walau membakar diri
kerana takut dipinggirkan
kerana takut digantikan neon
kerana takut kehilangan
walau teman hanyalah kegelapan
kerana kegelapan inilah yang memerlukan cahaya
namun dalam kegelapan
yakin si diri
yang terus membakar
akan ada hikmah
akan ada nikmat
yang belum mahu menampakkan diri
walhal
kegelapan itu menakutkan
kerana tiada yang pasti di dalam kesuraman
namun
api ini akan terus menyala
kerana yakin ia akan masa yang menguji sabar
masa tidak akan menipu
masa akan menjanjikan semua
biar api ini menyala
selagi kegelapan masih ada....
selagi tiada neon atau pelita
untuk menggantikan api
yang setia
terus menyala...

2004-10-03T01:10:00.000+08:00

Yeayyy.....!!!
My laptop is well again....heehee! Thanx to BB dear.....:D

Hmm, feel like updating tapi tak tahu apa yg nak diupdatekan.....lemme see.....
Well, so far the past week has been ok.. not too bad. Preparing the kids for final year exam, latihan after latihan. Been telling myself, i'm not gonna stay in sch till late, unless if i have to. Kalau ada chance balik cepat jer, i will go home. No more stay in sch sampai hari da gelap.. cuma at times i do feel dat i need to stay so dat i get things done. Cos biasalah, once home, the bed will come alive...calling and seducing me....hahaha!! once my head is on my pillow, dats it...i can sleep for 3 whole hours....bis tu mlm tak leh tido....then the next day ngantok lagi....n it became a cycle...yada yada yada....hahahhaa!! (gilerrr.....)

It seems soooo fast and we are approaching Ramadhan again. the time to reflect and look back...*sigh* sometimes i feel like i've been 'away'...n i miss feeling dat settled calmness, dat engaging feeling towards the Almighty...its true dat at times the worldly things around u makes u forget and detached for a while...n it is sad also dat only in times of need then will u get closer to Him... my wish is for my life to be prolonged to meet Ramadhan cos i miss it...

Aniwae, wat do u guys tink of ranking among teachers??? I dunno...a few colleagues shared their views and personally i feel like its all a big game. All the heads will put forward their 'weapons' aka good teachers...then other heads will try to bring them down...if u have done sometin, make sure it is seen...cos if not, its as good as nuthin....BOLE GITU???? hmm, i agree dat u do need to be smart la so as to survive but wat happens to sincerity and keikhlasan in doing wat we have to do? haizz....i keep telling myself, watever dat i need to do...i shall be strong n bertahan for the sake of the amanah dat i am carrying, for the responsibility dat i have in nurturing these kids to become better people, so dat the money dat i get each month is hard-earned. So i answer only to Him....and not to the 'bosses'......
but at times, its hard to say oso lah...............*sigh*

OK lah, till next time....hopefully there will be pictures then.....to my fellow teacher-frenz, lets all do wat we are doing for the amanah dat we carry so dat we will not go crazy. HEHE!!!

2004-10-01T15:34:00.000+08:00

I need to deal wif my INSECURITIES.

confident
positive
independent
strong
self-reliant
confident
believe
control
positive
chill
HAHA!!

2004-09-27T01:08:00.000+08:00

As promised...the PictMe pics...hehehe!! ada satu lagi but i dun like...bluwekkzz!

2004-09-27T00:14:00.000+08:00

Dis is the pic i love most...hehe...i tink i look extra sepet, dun u tink so?

2004-09-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

A picture of us which i love most....taken sumtime last year...on East Coast beach....

2004-09-25T22:49:00.000+08:00

My BB did the sweetest thing today. Sumtin i didnt expect outta him.

Well, dis was wat he did...(kalau ada yg macam rasa da nak meluat tu, skip aje lah dis part....hehehe) We went out juz now. One of the rare times when we spend more than half a day together. It was a wonderful date...i gez not meeting often does make a normal date more special. I dunno....it feels like the first few times wen we started going out. It feels special, even wen its juz a matter of looking at each other as we talk..or juz looking without saying anything...or juz walking side by side, cracking silly jokes, commenting on pple...(he is good at doin dat...tsk tsk) It makes both of us more patient, more tolerant...i waited for him for 25 min, n didnt complain much...a bit only lah...tu pon sambil ketawa2...n we missed the movie we wanted to watch initially, wic was dodgeball. Actually, its a blessing in disguise cos i tink its a merepek movie..haha!! he wanted to watch Terminal n i thot its a heavy movie wic i dun fancy at the moment...but i was so wrong! We enjoyed it tremendously ... so farnee...!!

Errmmm....ok ok, back to the sweet thing dat he did.....Well, i juz bought a pair of Charles n Keith shoes and like some other new shoes, they have teeth, if u noe wat i mean...i was prepared wif plaster on the back part of both my heels but sumhow the plaster terkopek2 n my kaki still melecet. So he got for me a different type of plaster wic is bigger n better...(hehehe...sounds farnee...) its actually plaster for bigger wounds but it werks. Ok ok....u may think...alah, belikan plaster je pe...wats so great abt dat??

Wen we got seated, to eat actually, he took the new plaster, told me to take out the old one, n he bent down...nicely n lovingly pasted the new plaster on my blister......sigh.......a part of him i seldom get to see.......but i noe its in him........ my sweet sweet sayang.....

Hmm....i noe wat it means wen pple say dat it is never a bed of roses. But it feels great to have dat kinda feeling once in a while..heehee..wen u least expected it especially...ive learnt not to expect too much and to always see the brighter side of things. Learnt to see the beautiful things instead of the ugly ones more cos i believe dat at times we overlook all the wonderful things and concentrate on the few bad things. We all have our flaws, our own personality, our own likes and dislikes. But i gez it is him dat i fell in love wif, his irritatingness and kerekness...all the pet names wic if u were to hear him say, u may think dat he is one...errmm...cruel boyfren...Kkhekhekhekhehe!! But gez wat...i will MISS it if i dun hear it in a day!! truthfully, he can be the sweetest, dearest, most loving, most caring, gentlest, romantic...u name it....antara nak ngan taknak jer....at dis juncture, i cant possibly see myself wif another guy....

Ok lah....panjang nye cerita...hehehee....well, u cant blame me...im on cloud nine and i intend to stay here....as long as possible....those close to me may see n realise i have never been this much in love.............

2004-09-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

It feels good when u noe u did sumtin quite well and above wat pple expect u to do. ...GrInZ...

The sharing thing went on real well. We were the first school to present since we need to leave early (for the lantern nite thingy, remember...?) So it was ok lah...I tink the past few times i performed in front of an audience helped me deal wif the fear of stage fright. I was composed, and even able to crack some jokes..(bukanlah macam stand up comedy gitu kan tapi some selamba n impromptu stuff...hehe) Could see dat my HOD was glad wif our performance and sumhow i felt a sense of achievement....tho most of the isi in the presentation my colleague yg buat....but i tink i present better....(HAHA....mennyaammmmpaaahhhhh.....)

The past few days were the most stressful days so far...really bad sey...thursday was the worst...we almost get into trouble cos we left our classes wif worksheets, unattended. Itu pun pasal we really needed the time to complete our presentation be4 the dry-run on thur afternoon. Unfortunately, her students caused some chaos...and dat made her n myself BETOL-BETOL nye stress....cos kalau org-org atas find out....habis kita....angkara budak2 tu jugak.....haizz....

Niwae, im really glad the week is over. Now dat my sch has already implemented NO WERK ON SATURDAY, my sat is as free as sunday...so tomoro im gona unwind...wheeeee!!!! cant wait....we will prob catch a movie....also, we are gona collect our PictureMe pics...yeayyy!! nanti i will scan n show eh...hehehehhe!!!

OK lah deariezz....till next time.....daaa.....!!!

2004-09-22T20:12:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i feel so guilty that my mom is sick. I feel like i have not done enuff to help, to be the good daughter i should be. Like part of the reason she fell sick is becos she was too exhausted layankan kerenah the 3 of us at home.

Becos of dat, i feel soooo responsible over wat happened. I told myself dat i am not goin to allow sch to come between me and my family. I am not goin to tire myself out like crazee.

But......

Juz now, my mom da bole balik. I was supposed to fetch her...no....i WANTED to fetch her. Ok, myself and another colleague of mine are involved in dis cluster sharing thingy held at another sch dis friday. We need to present a lesson and its supposed to be creative and innovative....yada yada yada.... My colleague nie has been away doin N level marking, so tadi baru dia balik sekolah. So we didnt have much time to discuss....We did meet on saturday but she changed it totally and i noe NUTS abt it.. Macam mana nak present kan???? So i was caught up in sch, discussing wif her n HOD n another cikgu, trying to make some sense in it. I went off only ard 3.45 and bila i sampai sana....my mom all ready wif her tudung and all, tertido on the bed. She was ready since 2...!! sedihnyerrrr......so i fetched her and went back to school.....BINGITZZZ!!!

Dis friday kan, my school is having Lantern Nite. 6-8 pm. I dun understand WHY we have to attend the sharing seyyy.....kita nie robot kepe!!!! Hehehe....kalau HOD aku nampak...habisss....so we are supposed to rush back frm the sharing to school and dis Lantern Nite thing is MT dept nye programme....APA SEYY!!!! Watever ahh.......

So now, im juz pissed cos im so tired n stressed...dun even have time to plan my lessons...and i want to spend more time wif my mommmmyyyyy......

Ok lah, shall leave the laptop for a while.....nak ‘ngempeng’ ngan mak...hehehe....(there goes my jawaness again....)

2004-09-20T16:01:00.000+08:00

I love Mak.

She devotedly took care of her 3 children, regardless if she is unwell or pening2 or juz too exhausted wif the never-ending household chores. Even till now, she still jaga makan minum n all. Hmm, where does she get all dat energy from.

My mom has been coughing for more than a month. Been to 3 private clinics but tak baik-baik jugak. My dad has been wanting to bring her to the hospital but she refused because Syukri is sitting for PSLE and she said she kesiankan budak tu nak exam maknye takde ....sigh....

Ive always felt dat nothing can beat a love dat a mother has for her children. Nothing can beat the sacrifices dat a mother would do for her children. Seeing her coughing away, looking so pale...just breaks my heart. At times I feel like Ive not been there for her when she really needs me...blame it on...what?? work? I’m sure dats sumtin I have to figure out myself and set my priorities right....

I love her and nobody else deserves dat kinda love except for her.

2004-09-16T20:52:00.000+08:00

A joke is a joke....

But when the same, exact thing is joked about over and over and over and over again, every single day, every single moment, every single conversation....it gets to u....

U noe wat i mean?

2004-09-12T10:55:00.000+08:00

I think I've figured out a way to create a posting...

Let's juz see if dis turn out okie..If not, terpaksa la post from school...LECEH

2004-09-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

We all looked BASI beside her....*sigh*

2004-09-09T23:25:00.000+08:00

Jambu......

2004-09-09T23:21:00.000+08:00

My cuzin Nadiah n the Rest of Us. Picture Perfect!!

2004-09-09T23:13:00.000+08:00

I'm back.....

Posting from home...... (edited in sch)

Well, my one week ‘break’ is almost over and I am soooo NOT, i repeat, NOT looking forward to the new term. Haizz, I foresee loads n loads of work piling up, all the way until the next holidays. We were already warned that there will be a lot of planning and meetings and more plannings and even more meetings....never ending....all the way til december. Nampak gaya, raya tahun nie taklah sakan sangat..hehe....

Well, i kept on reading back wat i wrote before dis... Hmm, I truly feel dat it is about time i snap out of my emotional self. Mebe its good too dat I learn to be less affected wif things in school and channel more of my energy to my family.
Truth is, I feel like I’ve neglected them. My li’l bro especially. Hmm, it tears me up inside when i begin thinking about it. Sumtin happened that made me realise, and I felt really terrible for the fact that I might have paid more attention to my students and didn’t pay much attention on him. Felt so useless....I hope I’m able to be there for him more, now that he’s sitting for his PSLE soon.

One more thing, i was asked the question if I am truly happy. I am....truly truly happy...esp wif who I am wif right now. I declare that I LOVE him...!!! Hiakhiakzz!! (sori eh gang, takmu meluat ah....:p)

Okie, now dat everytin’s fine...time to update....
Here are the pics....

2004-09-08T08:26:00.000+08:00

Patience is my middle name.

A few people are concerned that I am too weak. Hmm....am i really? I gez it boils down to the fact that I am such a helpless emotional freak. But if that is how I am, i am sure it can be moulded such that it becomes a good thing instead of a bad one. Can dat ever be possible?? Well, I've learnt a lot. And every single day, I try to suit myself to the needs of others. Be it at work, personal life...etc. I DEAL wif it. That's where it gets a bit disturbing, to them. "DEALING" wif it is not the way. So wat is the right way my dear?

I believe that He puts me in dis situation, where I am in right now for a reason. Nevertheless, life is never a bed of roses. Heartaches, disappointments, anger....will only lead to more love. That's how I appreciate. That's how I learn. It's never meant to be easy. I went through too many other heartaches wif too many different people because I wanted to avoid having heartaches wif one single person. Now, which is better.... to keep on getting hurt by different individuals or to go thru ups and downs (wic will obviously involve heartaches) wif one single person who you truly love and want to be with...

These concerned people are such lovelies. They will never fail to look over me and make sure that I'm ok. I am truly ok....It is going to be a learning journey for me, one which requires much love, care and definitely time in order for me to reach my desired destination. I've a lot of love to give and now I'm capable of giving love, as much as I want to. Gez it's better now than never...

I love u gals.

2004-09-07T13:22:00.000+08:00

At last....

Now that i'm in school, barulah boleh update. Sori frens for the long awaited posting, sumtin wrong wif my notebook lah, bingits...OK, let's update one by one....

1) I went to BirdPark again...!! ok, before u start thinkin dat im crazy, dis time i went wif a group of students and a few teachers. It was ok lah, since i was there recently, i eksyen tahu lah...brought the whole group to the jambatan place but we were there for a while only cos the budak2 monyet started jumping up n down on the bridge. Dah terjerit-jerit aku dibuatnya...hehe..yang kelakarnya, skali ternampak one of my colleagues pon lompat2 nie...khekhe! In all, it was quite ok lah. The students were supposed to bring some kids from lower income families for their Coomunity Involvement Prog. Nak jaga diri sendiri tak betul nak jaga anak-anak orang. Cikgu2 yang stress......

2) On the same day, malamnya we went to my dear cuzin Nadiah's place. She got engaged the day after so we went there ard 6 to rewang2 (wic means to potong daun pandan for bunga rampai...hehehe) other than dat we were juz there to get together n meriahkan the suasana. Biasalah my family...kecorable.... Everytin went well, Nadiah looked gorgeous on the day itself. Got a Mak Andam to make her up. The wonders make-up and fake eye-lashes can do...She invited all her 'past guys'...hmm...set me thinking...shall i do the same wen it's my turn...Hmmm... Will post the pics once i got it from Nadiah...reminds me, I NEED A DIGICAM!! WAAHHHHH......!!! * sob sob*

3) Monday, spent th whole day lepaking at home. Sampailah late evening when ana msg mintak belas kasihan cos she failed her TP..hiakhiakz! sorri dear.... so off we went to Gelare at east coast. Hmmm, da lama i've been wanting to go there to try out the waffles. Sedaaap....b, i'll bring u there one day k....;)

4) Tuesday, and here I am....in school at abt 1.30 pm...trying to start on my final yr exam papers..supposed to be panicking rite now but wat the heck...might as well update my blog...supposed to have plans later wif the gals tapi so far still senyap jer...Aniwae, me n my bb goin for PictureMe session tomoro...can't wait!! hehehe...we got the package 20 Sept last year. Eventually, we decide to not postpone it any further...so, kalau ada peluang, i will upload the pics...

Pheww... dats my update for now.... I hope my laptop can be fixed...tukang betolkan computer tengah sakit ah...kesian dia, tonsils dia bengkak pasal byk sangat bebual ngan users...tapi amik gambar tetap amik gambar...dant postpone the pictureme thing anymore!! hehehe...

Till then deariez.....

2004-08-31T18:02:00.000+08:00

I need a DIGICAM!!!!

Juz got back from my Teachers' Day Hi-Tea. It was fun, full of laughter, teachers in their most outrageous retro outfits...(will post the pics wen i get them frm my fren)...the thing is kan, i totally forgot to take pics of MYSELF!! bingit kan....!!! Kecoh punya kecoh....sume lupa..Bingitz!

Niwae, the hi-tea was ok...the food not too great tho...not much choice, the finger food macam yang beli instant tinggal goreng jer..hehe..the activities were ok lah, the songs were fine...appeals more to those born in early 70s...tapi yang lain ikot ajer...fun per...hehehe...

the most amusing thing is my P suggested a 'dancing session'...khekhekhehe!! was sooo shocked to see all the mak n bapak budak yang ligat terkinja-kinja on the dance floor. Soooo the farrnneeee.....kalau ada sense of rhythm takpe jugak..hehe...tapi ada yg memang best lah, can really groove....:D It was a good way to unwind and destress.

Well, didn't get too dat many gifts tapi tak apa lah..i teach not wif the intention to get gifts rite...*sigh* Played netball in the morning wif the students...was quite fun tho i had a bad fall during the game...performed for the concert...hmmm, made to do the twist in front of the students...hmm, all in all, it was quite an enjoyable day.

Ok then...time to rest after a tiring day....

2004-08-30T21:22:00.000+08:00

My WorkStation

2004-08-30T20:59:00.000+08:00

MTD....wat...?

Mother Tongue Department laaa....heehee!!

Well, gotta admit..after spending months working together wif the cikgu2 and laozhi2 (if dat's spelt correctly) we got kinda close. I'm glad the pple in the dept are 'gerek kakis' cos if they are not i might end up having a really miserable time there.
It is hardwork cos we juz have soooo many programmes in a period of few mths. Racial Harmony Day lah...Harmony Camp lah...Enrichment Prog lah...etc etc. But it was quite fun too cos we did our jobs amidst joy n laughter..hiakz hiakz!! Next on the agenda is of course Teachers' Day Celebrations...!! Each dept gota come up wif a short perfirmance...hmmm, we'll see how it goes tomoro and i'll update k..!! We're having high-tea at holiday inn park view and i'm soooo looking forward to dat. Gona be in retro outfit (courtesy of effa...*smilez* siapa lagi yg pakai sluar bell bottoms n baju renda2...) and clogs...fun fun fun!!! Kalau ada pics, i will sure post them here....haizz, dat reminds me. I gota get a digicam soon....now dat i have a blog. Feewwwiiittt...semangat sey sista!!

(One thing to complain...my table is juz too small...skarang masih oklah jugak since im still new, but im sure in few more mths i'll need MUCH MORE space..but i like the colour concept..ok ok, thanx to my frenz.....:p

2004-08-29T00:56:00.000+08:00

Hmm....

Can't blame me for being a bit semangat...heehee! Well, since siti asked me abt the jambatan thot it wud be nice to add some pics frm our birdpark trip.....*grinz*

2004-08-28T23:52:00.000+08:00

Finally....my sayang, my dear, my BB, my irritant, my kerekboy, my etc etc etc...

2004-08-28T23:47:00.000+08:00

the galz who have been wif me thru thick n thin...lurve them!

2004-08-28T23:45:00.000+08:00

a BIGGER family wic includes dear cousins, Nenek, lovely aunts n wunderful uncles...

2004-08-28T23:41:00.000+08:00

My Beloved Family...can't do without them...Mak, Ayah, Syukri, Abang, Kak Ida...

2004-08-28T23:31:00.000+08:00

Hie hie...
Wat a hectic, stressful, irritating, depressing week...had a bad bad week and am so glad its over. The kids juz get too out of hand at times...(except for the 2NT kids who get outta hand ALL THE TIME) had tons of marking to do cos kena key in marks by friday...had some competition for kids on friday....hosting a workshop for cluster teachers on sat...*PHEW!*
Had a great time wif him juz now tho....walaupun penat...walaupun mengantuk...akan ku tempuhi juga asalkan dapat jumpa dier.....weewiiittt....tho i had to follow him to the ComEx at Suntec where i tink haf of IT-driven Singaporeans were there....jadi sardin kejap....

OK, im sure it will be more interesting wif some visuals here....rite??!! hmm...gambar apa eh nak taruk...hmm....gez i shall start wif the things or peepz closest to my heart.....*smilez*

2004-08-28T15:25:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum....

At long last, here I am entering this full-of-hype blogging world...Well, dalam 'kestressan' yang amat sangat, i managed to take some time, sit in front of the laptop and exxpplloooorreeee... heehee...my neck is so tense and my back is killing me...almost...
Well, guess I'll have my share o f stories and pictures to share wif y'all....so WELCOME ME PEEPZ!! :D

2004-08-28T15:25:00.000+08:00

This is ME......*heehee*